I hate this.... I hate that my pain is so bad that I pray to die.... I cant take it anymore. I pray every night to be able to sleep, to not have to say I feel bad, for the strength to get through another day of hell, I pray that my kids dont see my pain so I get up and I push through. I can barely make it through wiping the counters without my hands being cramped. I loved life and fishing and hunting and baseball. Now I hate waking up. Im 31 I should be happy and enjoying my boys. I hate feeling like a burden on my husband who is so amazing. I dont even tell him or anyone how bad it is. But I really effing hate this!
Im quoting myself here. Today has been a much better day then yesterday. I have to believe prayer works cause God has saved me many times. Today as much as I hate PD I am so thankful that if even for a day God has taken my pain away..... and I take no pain meds so I most definitely need GOD.