All of the above went away between my spouse and me after I was diagnosed in December 2010. To be totally fair, he was grieving the loss of his beloved Yorkie Beau around the same time. He took Beau from Texas to rural PA to visit his older sister with PD, and left Beau with her, incapacitated in a wheelchair, to watch him, while Ray came to the airport in Buffalo to pick me up on Thanksgiving Day. Beau got out a back door and was never seen again. Ray blamed his sister.
The next month I was diagnosed. The next month, his sister died. He wouldn't even talk to her family. As I adjusted, not always graciously, to my diagnosis over the next two years, Ray became more and more distant. He's not the caregiver type and hates doctors. By fall 2012 he admitted he didn't want to ever have to touch me and he was afraid I could cause the loss of his new Yorkie, also named Beau. He moved me to assisted living.
Last spring he up and left without a word and stayed incommunicado because he didn't want to have to divide the assets. I found out his location in November and our divorce is final, and a trust has been set up for me to help with things insurance doesn't pay for.
I now live independently with a caregiver 27 hours a week. I have clubs and other activities, and find I am happier without the stress which would have undoubtedly continued because of his unwillingness to change. But it was hell while I was going through the letting go process.
Have you expressed your feelings to your wife, or tried marriage counseling with a therapist who is familiar with the stress of long term debilitating disease on a marriage? I think that's probably the best suggestion I have. There have been times during this whole ordeal where I was a total bitch as I grieved both having PD and the loss of my marriage. I know how hard it has been on me, I feel empathy for you because I know how rejection you did nothing to cause feels. I wish more people were willing to talk about it.
Thanks for your post.