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Personality changes


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#141 coacht

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Posted 09 August 2015 - 01:13 PM

Elle,

It is a one way relationship in so many ways. Most people don't see that aspect of her, she is so nice to everyone else. I took the vows, but now I have no real expectations coming from her, I will do what I have to do. We will see if she notices or if she is wrapped up in her own little world. Thanks for everyone listening, it does help.

coach T



#142 New normal

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Posted 09 August 2015 - 01:47 PM

Coach...you are remarkable...and I wish you well. Journaling may help you....at least you could document the progression and changes. I hope you find peace in each of your days ahead.
Dx'd 6/13 @ 66 by MDS in office with sub linquil L dopa challenge. Carbidopa/l dopa 50/200 5x in 24 hr span.
Reaction to Amantadine 100 mg 2x per day,Discontinued, 4/15.
Normal DaT scan '13, normal MRI, '13 Second DaT scan, 10/14, normal.
Symptoms: 90% controlled: significant tremors rt & lft side, rt leg drag whn tired, balance, slow movement, cognitive/ speech issues, apathy, full body dystonia seizures approx one per day, dysfunctional autonomic systems
Cherish your loved ones, make memories with them..........now.

#143 CECE

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Posted 09 August 2015 - 05:16 PM

My heart goes out to all of you having these problems. I am sorry and remember others are thinking of you. It scares me to think I could end up be mean to my spouse. He is such a kind person. My friend's sister was mean to her spouse and daughter. She would throw things at them. She also had Lewy bodies.

We do not know what the future holds for us.

Thinking of you all
CC

#144 miracleseeker

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Posted 09 August 2015 - 05:56 PM

Elle,

It is a one way relationship in so many ways. Most people don't see that aspect of her, she is so nice to everyone else. I took the vows, but now I have no real expectations coming from her, I will do what I have to do. We will see if she notices or if she is wrapped up in her own little world. Thanks for everyone listening, it does help.

coach T

 

Is your wife even scared of the possibility that you could send her away?  Do you think she cares?  It's so rare to hear of a male caregiver who takes so much abuse and is still so devoted.   You are one of a kind sir!



#145 coacht

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Posted 10 August 2015 - 08:05 AM

Miracleseeker,

We can never discuss it so I don't really know. The one time it came up she said just put her in a home or whatever I want to do. Needless to say, it wasn't a good discussion. That was the night I found out how clueless she was about our life and the decisions she had made for both of us since we couldn't discuss things. She had no idea the number of things I had not pursued since she was negative toward them. She really is in her own little world.

Coach T



#146 miracleseeker

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Posted 10 August 2015 - 08:24 AM

Yeah unfortunately it seems she thinks everything is about her.  There is only so much you can take so do what's best in the end.   Only you know what you are capable of doing.



#147 Peace

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Posted 15 August 2015 - 10:55 PM

I usually don't frequent your forum and I feel like an intruder posting here.   You CGs deserve your own forum to say all you want and need to say.   But I am captivated by this discussion.  What I don't understand is:  A few of you (the ones dealing with poorly acting PWP) sound as if you believe the decline in personality is a definite because it is a part of the degeneration of the brain.  But yet, your PWP seem to be able to turn it off and on depending on present company. If it was the degeneration of the brain, how can they have control of it?  Could it be they are just hateful and angry because they have never come to terms with their illness?   And so they act out with you, their CG, just as a healthy person would show their uglier emotions to their spouse but not in public? 


I'm so busy I don't know if I just found a rope or lost my horse! 

 

Diagnosed March 2015 Age 48

 

 


#148 miracleseeker

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Posted 16 August 2015 - 12:15 AM

You are not intruding at all just as we hope we're not intruding the other forums.   You have a very good point.  



#149 FlyBaby

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Posted 16 August 2015 - 04:27 AM

Peace,

What an interesting thought. One that I had not considered before, and I look forward to hearing what others here have to say............


Michael

Current age= 55

First symptoms: 1975

Dx.

Parkinson's Disease, Ataxia

 

DBS surgery 12/2014............ Bilateral lead placement with a single battery/stimulator on RH side. Turned on 12/21/14

current settings:

2.0v Left, and 3.2V Right  and 3 - 25/100 Sinemet CR per day.................

 

"I will do what i can, while I can, and when i can't, I'll do something else" (that is.... unless I've already gone "squirrel".... and went looking for someone's horse......)

 


#150 JillianD

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Posted 16 August 2015 - 04:44 AM

Thank you to everyone for their comments, insights and thoughts, all very helpful.  

The difficult personality issues were evident in my husband before PD, but were able to be managed from a relationship perspective, and he could sometimes see them too.

His behaviors were due to a very difficult early childhood resulting in developmental challenges.  

However, after 15 years of PD and PD medication, his behaviors and thinking have become extremely rigid.

He thinks his view is the only view of the world  and that any different view is deliberate attempt to argue/contradict him and he personalizes every small incident an conversation (if with other people he tells me about the event verbatim afterward and expects me to agree with his view).

I empathize with other caregivers who have a similar challenges - it is not easy. 



#151 genden69

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Posted 16 August 2015 - 09:42 AM

Peace,
I can't speak for anyone else but only my experience with my husband's mental degeneration in connection with Parkinson's. I don't believe he can control his behavior any more than he can control his tremor. The intensity of each varies, often with no known cause. This is not a perfect analogy, but I suspect that each PWP's condition is individual and only the caregiver can come close to understanding it. The problem is the death of brain cells, the clogging of brain cells and pathways with Lewy bodies and the effects on brain chemistry and brain cell health from a long time use of medication. The terms used are Parkinson's Dementia and Parkinson's Psychosis. In some cases of early Parkinson's, some caregivers may find an exceleration of current personality and relationship issues. Even then it would be hard to distinguish what was willful and what was disease related. Society has always had a hard time understanding mental health issues.. We can understand the physical effects of disease, but we struggle with the mental effects. Our criminal system has not come to terms with the mentally ill and crime. For example, should a schizophrenic be responsible for crimes committed when he is in a delusional, psychotic state and can't recognize reality? Those of us who are in control of our actions can't understand those who aren't in control of their actions. Do we expect a person diagnosed with Alzheimer's to be in control of their behavior? It is all very complex.

#152 genden69

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Posted 16 August 2015 - 11:40 AM

My husband has been diagnosed for 18+ years. It has only been the last 3 or 4 years that he has had Parkinson's Dementia and the last two years with Parkinson!s Psychosis. The disease does not progress the same in all people. However, at autopsy, the brain degeneration can be proven with evidence of Lewy bodies and brain shrinkage. The disease definitely affects the brain and consequently thinking.

#153 FlyBaby

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Posted 16 August 2015 - 12:10 PM

Amen genden69, amen


Michael

Current age= 55

First symptoms: 1975

Dx.

Parkinson's Disease, Ataxia

 

DBS surgery 12/2014............ Bilateral lead placement with a single battery/stimulator on RH side. Turned on 12/21/14

current settings:

2.0v Left, and 3.2V Right  and 3 - 25/100 Sinemet CR per day.................

 

"I will do what i can, while I can, and when i can't, I'll do something else" (that is.... unless I've already gone "squirrel".... and went looking for someone's horse......)

 


#154 coacht

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Posted 16 August 2015 - 06:17 PM

Peace,

Genden has hit it on the head. In other forums caregivers refer to "show time". A PWP marshals all of their energy to appear normal for a doctor's appointment for example and then there is nothing left. An hour at the doctor's office can be the same as running a marathon for the energy and concentration it takes. The caregiver is the only one that sees them most of the time, not just during the race. Jillian, it is much the same here, not exactly, but in a lot of ways.

Coach T



#155 Peace

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Posted 17 August 2015 - 12:03 PM

Thanks everyone for the further explanations.


I'm so busy I don't know if I just found a rope or lost my horse! 

 

Diagnosed March 2015 Age 48

 

 


#156 coacht

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Posted 27 August 2015 - 07:49 AM

Hello everyone,

 

My DW never makes a mistake in how she treats me according to her. Does anyone else have their PWP just blow them off and then act like it is no big deal? No emotion when confronted with behavior other than to totally lose it. In other instances there is plenty of emotion so she is capable of it. Very passive aggressive also.

 

Coach T


Edited by coacht, 27 August 2015 - 07:49 AM.


#157 miracleseeker

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Posted 27 August 2015 - 08:02 AM

Oh coacht.... you are a saint!  I really feel for you.  I don't think there is anything you can do if she doesn't see it so she won't change.






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