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Spouse newly diagnosed-denial and anger

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#21 New normal

New normal

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Posted 15 February 2017 - 09:57 AM


I am very sorry you are experiencing such challenges...and "triggers" surround you. You can keep your smiling face on most of the time...but every once in awhile....the facade melts and your true fear and sense of loss reappears. You are not alone.

Most of us have felt the same emotions. PD (parkinson disease) is noted by one of our wisest forum members when she says, "PD is a long grieving process." It is so true. As you have heard, most PWP (people with PD) go thru the same stages as grievers...denial, anger, sadness, sometimes quilt, and then acceptance. It takes time...you and DH are experiencing a loss...a loss of future expectation...a loss of stability...and huge unknowns ahead.

However, CD, you will soon learn that PD advances in steps....sometimes short steps...sometimes long steps...but incrementally...Your life will not change dramatically from day to day. We do not look further down the road than we can clearly see. We learn to manage what we know...and await what we dont know until we must adapt...again.... tomorrow will not be much different than today...UNLESS..you spend your valuable time and energy on "what if's" and google search all PD possibilites that may never occur for you.

Maximize every moment....make a "special gift" for DH (dear husband) every week....you are a planner...start planning your next vacation....take extra time to provide service to someone outside your family....include your husband in the project...when he and you are helping others, PD symptoms seem to disappear..

Adapt to your situation...you have read the benefits of exercise...make a plan...begin and share an exercise daily with DH...a walk around the neighborhood...start a swimming program together...an exercise class....exercise is the absolute BEST thing you can do for him.....start thinking every day what you CAN do...not what you or he can't do...and maxi ize that as much as you can.

PD can be a companion...accept it...work with it...not against it...and you will learn from PD...it will teach you patience, endurance, empathy, ...and,you will discover strengths you never knew....

I have bn diagnosed for nearly 4 years and my Dh was dx'd with PD a year ago. Our love and commitment is stronger than ever...after 47 years and five children...Yes we plan for the future...but we DEFINITELY live for today. Having a strong faith helps us realize that this earthly time is just a mere spect of time when viewed by the eyes of one who believes,in eternity. We just try every day to be the best we can be.

Every morning we give thanks to our creator for our good health...regardless of the status. Good health because we are so much better than many others who must endure. Good health because we are independent. Good health cuz we can help others..you see, CD, as long as we are grateful...as long as we recognize our purpose...in that we can benefit others...THEN we receive strength to adapt to whatever PD brings us.

The posters who have been here...the care givers especially...are remarkable mentors...listen carefully to them...they are generous with their time...they want to help you ...and soon you will find yourself helping others. What a very sad world we would have without challenges....we would have no empathy or desire to assist others.

So you see, CD, if you make PD a companion...not an enemy you fight every dsy...but a gift for you to learn from...to build your own talents from...adapting and acceptance comes easier.

Nothing in this world is easy...we all stumbled while trying to walk when infants...we still stumble everyday...but, hopefully, we continue to take the steps...we still keep trying...and most of us can make it to journey's end ....regardless of the steepest inclines.

My prayers are with you. Be kind to yourself...allow yourself to feel the "grief process"....strength will come as you grow...and "walk"....

Best wishes...continue to engage in the forum...we need you.

Best wishes,

  • ellaangel2 likes this
Dx'd 6/13 @ 66 by MDS with sub linquil L dopa challenge. Meds: Carbidopa/l dopa 50/200 5x in 24 hr
4/15, reaction in 6 mos to Amantadine 100 mg 2x per day.
DaT scan '13, normal. MRI '13, normal. DaT scan '13 repeat, normal. DaT scan '14, normal. DaT scan '15, normal.
Symptoms: 90% - 100% controlled: bilateral body tremors, chin tremor, tongue tremor, rt leg drag, balance, slow movement, cognitive/speech, apathy, executive function, autonomic systems. Patient to Neuro, "Next appt, on or off meds?" Neuro to patient, "ON meds...you are too scary when off!" <smile>

DH: dx'd PD 4/15 @ 70 by MDS with l dopa challenge by prescription. DaT scan, '15, normal. Meds: 25/100 mg carbidopa/ L dopa, 6x per 24 hr. Now being evaluated by VA for "agent orange" PD.

#22 Concernedcg



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Posted 15 February 2017 - 10:27 AM

NN, In a bit of a hurry right now but just wanted to say a quick very sincere thank you for your input and words of encouragement. It means a lot.
God bless and prayers for a wonderful day!

#23 Lonnise


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Posted 15 February 2017 - 08:21 PM

Hey there,

Just breathe, lean into the "discomfort" and you'll realize it won't absorb you.  I promise it won't.  You'll be surprised at what triggers your different awareness that you never thought of before.  It's fine to cry, that's one of Nature's ways of helping us clear toxins from our bodies.

You'll learn to "make peace" (in part) with not being able to plan out as much as you thought you could.  Reminds all of us to enjoy each day for the things in it that we don't control.

Take care and keep moving forward.  Understanding "why" you feel a certain way isn't as important as maybe you thought it was.  Just feel it and then decide (if that makes any sense at all).

You're doing great.  Keep it up.


  • Beau's Mom, New normal, ellaangel2 and 1 other like this


wife of PWP

dx July 2016
DatScan Oct. 2016 - consistent with PD
5 mg sertraline 1/day
1 mg Azilect 1/day
Appt. with MDS set for Feb. 2017
LHG also now on 5 mg Escitalopram 1/day
Exercise and LOTS of laughing a must

#24 johnnys


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Posted 21 February 2017 - 09:58 AM

One good thing with PD ,we forget random experiences.Maybe cause there is so much good life ahead,lol

Morning levodopa and coffee


  • TexasTom likes this

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