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#141 VOW

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Posted 25 July 2015 - 09:42 PM

*shaking head*

 

Thanks!  I needed that!

 

Seriously, I need to stop bitchin' and moanin' in my head, keep putting one foot in front of the other, and move forward.  And maybe make a mental note to talk to my PCP about adjusting my antidepressant.  I have a lot of stuff I WANT to do...but I can't seem to get started.

 

~VOW


Married 41 yrs to spouse with PD
who also has Seizure Disorder

 


#142 miracleseeker

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Posted 26 July 2015 - 08:13 AM

For me I find that when I put my mom's needs first before mine is when I stop the "boo hoo me"  feelings.    There are a lot of things I wish I had done or is doing now but life is life.  I'm sure even Oprah has regrets about things she can't accomplish.   :razz:  

 

I was on anti depressants before and all it did for me was make me super hungry and I gained 15 pounds.   If I want to be happy I have to make it happen. It's an ongoing process and I just take it one day at a time.


Edited by miracleseeker, 26 July 2015 - 08:49 AM.


#143 Quietstill

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Posted 26 July 2015 - 09:16 AM

Hi Vow,

Careful with the head slaps, reality is hard enough.  I miss the companionship, I miss looking forward because everything is on hold.  If many years of marriage slowing disappearing and flowing out like the tide doesn't make you want to be sad and run away occasionally then it wouldn't have been a very good marriage.

 

So, remember to be sad occasionally, to mourn the lost future, to acknowledge that it's just damn hard every so often.  That's only human.  And remember to take deep breaths, and find joy where you can.



#144 New normal

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Posted 26 July 2015 - 10:49 AM

Vow

Welcome to,the forum...and know,that all,you say is true....and others have felt the same...and you deserve the moments of,grief for,the loss that was...and the situation that is now....I have PD...but I often view this site to remind me of,the challenges of the CG's (caregivers).

You are not having a pity party...you are simply adjusting and transitioning to the next phase....and as the phases become harder, please continue to,post...yes...there are others who may have it worse....there are always starving people with no shoes SOMEWHERE in the universe...but your challenges are real to you...and how you handle them can be simplified by contacting the great CG's on this site.


Good luck to,you...stay strong...and stay connected to the wise people on this forum....you are not alone...and you are entitled to your feelings...without shame...without guilt...they are real ....God Bles.
Dx'd 6/13 @ 66 by MDS in office with sub linquil L dopa challenge. Carbidopa/l dopa 50/200 5x in 24 hr span.
Reaction to Amantadine 100 mg 2x per day,Discontinued, 4/15.
Normal DaT scan '13, normal MRI, '13 Second DaT scan, 10/14, normal.
Symptoms: 90% controlled: significant tremors rt & lft side, rt leg drag whn tired, balance, slow movement, cognitive/ speech issues, apathy, full body dystonia seizures approx one per day, dysfunctional autonomic systems
Cherish your loved ones, make memories with them..........now.

#145 VOW

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Posted 26 July 2015 - 10:53 AM

It's hard to give a capsulized version of our entire relationship, or describe what it has evolved through to become what it is today.

 

I think what I am mourning the most is what DH's limitations do to MY world, specifically.  Let me explain: I am profoundly hearing impaired.  I'm completely deaf in one ear, and even with amplification, I have maybe only 40% hearing in my other ear.  This makes my world very, very small.  I cannot use the telephone AT ALL.  I don't like to go anywhere by myself, because people simply do not have the patience to deal with someone who is hearing-impaired.  I get ignored, or worse yet, treated like I'm an idiot.  With DH at my side, he can jump into conversations on my behalf, and he can "translate" what other people say that I cannot understand.

 

I don't drive any more.  I have recurrent vertigo (NASTY business!) and coupled with my hearing-impairment, I REALLY don't want to deal with law enforcement should I violate traffic laws!  So DH is the family chauffeur.

 

But I wonder: what happens when DH can't drive any longer?  When he cannot make all our phone calls?

 

I do depend a great deal on him.  As he does with me.

 

A regular kick in the head makes me STOP with the crippling "what ifs" and forces me to see what all I do have right now, and to appreciate just that.

 

 

~VOW


Married 41 yrs to spouse with PD
who also has Seizure Disorder

 


#146 miracleseeker

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Posted 26 July 2015 - 11:07 AM

You would be surprised how much you can do on your own when push comes to shove.  We all appreciate enablers cause they do things for us that makes our lives easier even though they are preventing us from having a thick skin and the "just do it" mentality   When my brother lived at home he did everything and my mom and I were spoiled.   I was so angry when he moved far away because that meant the burden was placed on me now but I'm still alive and I amaze myself all the time with what I can accomplish.

 

Here are a few related questions -  what do I do when I'm losing my crutch?  Is co-dependency a good thing?


Edited by miracleseeker, 26 July 2015 - 11:08 AM.





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