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jm3115

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jm3115 last won the day on September 14

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About jm3115

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  • Birthday 04/20/1970

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  1. jm3115

    Getting Out

    Thank you so much, friends. Your suggestions are top notch. The tendency to become a recluse resonated with me. I'm seeing a therapist, and she's great. The suggestion to do some role playing, or preparing for awkward situations, is good stuff. I meditate often, but typically forget to take deep, cleansing breaths during the anxious moments. Thank you all!!!
  2. jm3115

    Getting Out

    Dear Friends, It has been a long time since I have posted. Tackling PD alone isn't fun, but felt like I needed some insight from this community. I am finding that my tremors worsen, or become more noticeable, when I venture out of my home. Of course, they are always present, but I notice they spike when I leave. Consequently, I am the first one to leave a party and come home early or, more often than not, I just choose not to attend social gatherings. Does anyone else struggle with this form of anxiety and Parkinsons? Curious in Central California
  3. jm3115

    The Change Continues

    I posted a number of months ago and the lack of clarity and some compulsive tendencies. Your feedback was honest and sincere and the forum reassured me that any medication that dealt with dopamine would have impulsive side effects. I guess, I knew that but I was expecting the behaviors to come much later into my diagnosis. Almost four years into the disease and four years into taking Sinemet and carbidopa-levodopa and I have turned over all back statements to my wife to review, I have begun to sneak out of the house to drink, ai obtained a tattoo, and I have gone as far as to have a joint in my hand to smoke (no judgment from me, I have never smoked before). It is truly taking its toll on my marriage. Has anyone else had similar experiences -- not identical, but similar experiences? jm3115
  4. jm3115

    Original Video

    Friends, Dr McGlasson out of Central MI University is doing some original work on the mental health aspects of Parkinsons. Feel free to share the video.
  5. jm3115

    Somethings Different

    What a pleasure to read your thoughtful responses. I actually hesitated to check back in for fear that I would have zero responses and that I would be left to consider my reflections on my own. However this community responded and and gave me hope that I wasn't alone. I participated in a Skype conference call on Friday and was able to share my experience w a reputable doctor out of SF. He was great! Understood what I was saying and by the time that we disconnected an hour later, had devised a plan to lower Mirapex to the lowest possible dosage and increase my Carbidopa / Levodopa. He gave me hope, as did you all. New Normal, thank you for your timely response and your insistence that I share my medical history. It seems a little presumptuous as my story is the same as all of yours -- symptoms for a number of years before an official diagnosis; medication pitfalls, and caregiver frustrations. However, I will be sure to add my current regiment of medications to my signature. LU States, I too miss my old self. And while I appear the same, I clearly am not. New Normal, I appreciate the frustration that I heard in your second post. This marriage of apathy / depression with anxiety / restlessness is disconcerting to say the least. Earlier this year, I attempted to go without my medications. The experience was insightful as I discovered which meds were effective and which ones appeared to be less so. The one medication that I knew not to mess with was my antidepressant. The headstuff and the emotional stuff is becoming just as problematic has the physical symptoms. Thank you all! jm3115
  6. jm3115

    Somethings Different

    The typical cocktail: Carbidopa / Levo; Mirapex, Celexa, and Azilect
  7. jm3115

    Somethings Different

    Friends - I am truly beginning to appreciate this forum. There are so many different symptoms and side effects that at times I just grow weary of saying anything to my wife or my therapist for fear that I will sound crazier than I already feel... I have been on all of the typical meds for about three years, but I am struggling with...here it goes...the best that I can describe it as a completely different dialogue in my head than what is taking place on the outside of me. In my head there is a lack of clarity, and I can accept that. But there also feels as though there are certain thoughts that are becoming compulsive in nature. A compulsion to be doing something; unable to remain still for a long period of time; compulsive thoughts about a co-worker and the inability to shake the thoughts away; a compulsion with checking my emails and through it all, just an odd inner dialogue that something has changed, something is different. Any thoughts? Concerned in California
  8. jm3115

    Drugless

    Good morning, Friends, Has anyone chosen to go drug-free or has chosen to taper off of medications? What was experienced? What did you replace it with? Etc? Be well, jm3115
  9. jm3115

    What Can I Expect

    Recently, I began to experience some of those obsessive side effects, most often associated with Mirapex. I was spending more money than I should have, became preoccupied with mundane tasks, fell asleep during a meeting w my superintendent, and began to act obsessively towards a coworker. I have chosen to get off Mirapex after 2 1/2 years. What can I expect? Jm3115
  10. jm3115

    Pain - Weigh In

    Holy cow! Clearly, I am not crazy. Thank you so much for your responses. My pain is only on my parky side, is a constant aching pain that just seems to wear me down, and seems to be more prevalent than ever before. OTC anti inflamatories help a little bit. Be well, Jm3115
  11. jm3115

    Pain - Weigh In

    Good morning from drought ridden California. Was hoping you folks could weigh in on the role of pain in your life. My right side -- my parky side -- has pain a good portion of the time. Specifically, my ankle, wrist, and forearm can become pretty painful as the day goes on. Often times a strong handshake or being on my feet too long can precede the pain. I've noticed that my neurologist appears puzzled when I talk about joint pain. Am I crazy or have any of you experienced joint pain? Be well, Jm3115
  12. jm3115

    Lurker - Pharmaceutical Devil

    Friends, I've been lurking for a while with an occasional post in and there... This post is not about the dangers of our medications; we are fully aware of them. Rather, this post is about our reflections to go down that road. In short, I feel like I have made a deal with the Pharmaceutical Devil. Four year ago I said to my wife, "I just want the shaking to stop!" Well, fast forward to this morning and I am sitting here at my laptop typing and at ease. With the help of Azilect, Mirapex (going off), Sinemet (going on) I am functional and productive. I am a school administrator who is still dealing with the stressors of a principalship and other than lousy sleep patterns, all is well. Yet below the surface, I am unsettled about the pact that I have made: the shaking is being held at bay, but the anxiety (not nervousness, but intense energy that needs to be spent), keeps me going from one task to another at home and at work. It is difficult for me to sit still and at times I have found myself making a complete circle in the house looking for something to do. But, this energy is also being contained in a body that is only getting four hours of sleep, so its a fight between energy and fatigue. Remember those days of waking up in your bed (not a couch or an armchair) and being bathed in morning sunlight? Now many of us are up before the sun. Yet, I am reminded that my shaking has improved. I guess the trade off is quality of life. I am 45 years old and would rather be productive and energetic now, but at what costs? What can I expect? (I had my first hallucination: are those spiders I repeatedly see out of the corner of my eye). Will online shopping become an obsession? Will my wife need to take away my credit cards? The decision to begin medication and to remain on medications is a personal one. I don't blame anyone who chooses to remain off of them, or who chooses to embrace them. There are certainly pros and cons either way. I wonder when the pharmaceutical devil will come calling?
  13. jm3115

    Patient : Caregiver

    Good day, friends. I have PD, and I am writing on this board because I would like to hear your experiences. Those closest to me say that I have changed; I am not the same person that I was X number of years ago. While they give me examples of my metamorphasis, I would still very much like to hear how your partner, spouse, or loved one had changed as a result of the disease. Thank you. (Moderator, if you prefer I post elsewhere, let me know).
  14. Hi I'm from central Cali too, what city are u from?

    1. jm3115

      jm3115

      Sorry Bills-- didn;t know about the direct message option. Im near Fresno. You?

  15. jm3115

    Sleep Fragmentation

    Friends, Do you think it is caused by meds or the disease (or stress)?
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