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  1. Daughter needs help - Father with Parkinsons

    My parents own there own home, living there for over 50 years. I am the oldest of four siblings, who have recently taken on the responsibility of caretaking for both of my parents (dad has parkinsons and mom is disabled). They are not to the point where they are totally incapacitated, needing nursing home care, however, they do need support (cleaning house, shopping, washing hair, making meals, etc.) My other siblings are in denial about our father and I often find myself trying to mediate between the needs of my mother and the needs of my father. It seems that my father is back in his childhood and wants to buy everything, travel and have fun. Mom is more seditary and pratical. She cannot do alot and ofen relies on my sister and I for help. In the past my father has taken care of her physically. Now that he is sick she is trying to take care him (not physically), but mentally. Oftentime my father would get upset if my mother reminds him, or tries to help him. He often blames her for things he cannot remember. His memory is sporatic and we now accepted the fact that he repeats himself at gatherings and speaks without considering the impact it has on others. Dad no longer has the ability to sort out his emotions. He runs hot and cold. It is draining on my mom and me to try to keep track of where he is going and what he is doing. He does not trust my mother and therefore does not tell her where he is off to; sometimes being gone for more than eight hours. He is now to the point where he forgets most things - which is upsetting to my mother; as she does not know how to deal with her own illness and his frailing memory. Mom is refusing to put herself and dad in assisted living. I feel that the best thing for them is to get an apartment where they can get the help that they need, yet also have a sense of independence. How can I help and convince my parents 1) without having them lose the sense of independence that they always had but create a better environment for my dad and mom, where they can get the help they need on a continual basis and 2) how can I convince my siblings that our parents need help.