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Kristakj78

Parkinson's and divorce

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Has anyone else gone through Parkinson's and divorce? I'm dealing with it right now, and it is one of the hardest things I've ever done. Little things like the realization of what will come, and the anticipation of the demands I will be dealing with are getting to be too much for me (even though I feel like a married single mother as it is). I don't know, maybe I'm just feeling sorry for myself, but I am so sad. My marriage ended up so a** backwards, and am so resentful for that. I have no family support any where near me, and I have three very demanding young boys. They are my world, but are too young to understand the dynamics or reasons of anything going on right now, whether it be the divorce or the PD. At risk of sounding cynical, I am so angry at so many things....just simply vaccumning this morning, and with the rigidity issues of changing angles with the vaccumn, I seriously just wanted to give up and throw it through the wall, instead I dropped to my knees and had a good cry! I'm so scared and sad, for so many reasons. Any one go through something similar?

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I am sad for you... I have been divorced once and it was easy as can be. As for having bad days, I have plenty of those. Just the simple fact that there is something going on with me that I have no control over and no one can figure out makes most days difficult to say the least. Having a significant other who just doesn't care makes it that much harder. Just remember that you are the only person who can make a difference for you. It sounds like your husband did/does not "help" much around the house? With the boys? You might be surprised to see how much less stress you will have once all of the little things (about him, he does/doesn't do) are not there anymore. You have plenty to think about without adding to it. Time heals so hang in there!!!

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Vent away, momma. That just blows. So sorry you are going through this! I cannot imagine being a single mom with 3 boys, plus having this shitty disease. No advice except to take one day at a time--too overwhelming otherwise! Also, if you haven't started meds, now might be a good time.... Will help you cope and feel better once you get the right dose/cocktail. I do have a few girlfriends who have gone through divorce and yes, it sucks for a while then things are better than ever! Well, at least that's how it seems to play out... Do you have a good lawyer? Money of your own stashed?! Etc?

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Kristakj...I'm going through the lost of a partner plus this shitty disease...some times very sad but mostly scared because I'm now traveling this journey alone...if I need an extra set of hands...they're not there but after time and adjustments...things get done...just have faith and cry if you need to. Really think PD people have some inner strength to travel this journey.

 

Patricia

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My husband declares to the world that he would do anything he could to help me. Actions always speak louder than words every time. He has lied about his willingness be supportive. When it comes time to take action on his part, he refuses and says that giving him a year to decide is not enough time. I can no longer stand the yo-yo stress when he promises attention and care then refuses to do anything except to create more turmoil and stress. I think I begin to to understand the meaning of an old Roberta Flak song, "killing me softly with his song...and dance." He refused to care for me at home so I moved to an assisted living facility in November and have not been home since. I lived without touch and affection for over two years. It is long past time for me to let go when he has repeatedly made it very clear that has never been willing to take one step towards being my partner in life or in PD.

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Beautiful, supporting, heart warming posts, everyone...

Kristakj, nothing worse than feeling lonely when living with someone. you are a young, beautiful woman. and now you have the freedom, the chance to rebuild your life. i know it might sound a little "corny", but don't give up on love. just because you are alone now, doesn't mean you will be alone for the rest of your life. As for your ex-husband he should do everything in his power to help you with the kids! he will always be their father.

 

Patricia, i'm so sorry for your loss. i don't know if all patients with PD have an inner strength but you certainly do!

 

dianne, you are strong, you have nothing to fear...

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Kristakj,

 

As a man who got totally blind-sided by a cheating wife several years ago, my heart totally goes out to you. It was, by far, the worst thing I have ever gone through in my life. The only thing that really helped me was venting to anyone and everyone who would listen. I quickly found out who my true friends were. It took me about 6 months to pull out of it, and close to a year before I was truly over it. Hang in there and take it one day at a time.

 

Kevin

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Such wonderful positive thoughts from all of us going through this tunnel of unknowns.

I wish you had some family support or close friends nearby Kristakj.

Take a deep breath and find that inner determination to not let this friggin disease take you down. As for your divorce, I'm temted to think you will be better without his issues, but it will take some time to accept this.

You can do this! You will find strength though your sons.

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THANK U ALL for your words of support. MEANS THE WORLD IN A TIME LIKE THIS :) I met my quota for "liking" quotes for the day, and the forum wouldn't let me "like" any more. U ARE ALL SO SUPPORTIVE, AND I AM SO HAPPY I CAN RELATE TO SO MANY OF U, and vice versa. The support means more than u can ever imagine! xoxoxxo Kris :)

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Beau's Mom, I totally get you. My wife is exactly the same way and I've finally had enough, filing for divorce now. She would even go as far as asking why I did things that were obviously PD related and get angry about it, claim I was using PD as an excuse! I don't know how I'll get through this alone but I'm already happier and moving better knowing I'm done with her.

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Kritakj, sorry that you have to experience this kind of misery along with Parkinson's and the responsibility of children. I left a destructive marriage, many years ago and raised two children. actually, my children gave me the reason to be positive and strong and go on with life, as a loving mom. For them, I got help with my psyche, and got it together to change my way of living my life. I am now a widow. My husband died last may. He was a wonderful husband. I've been blessed with 30 terrific years with a life partner who made me very happy. I suffer a lot, now, with loss, but it is part of life. One has to go first, and although I have Parkinson's and he was the picture of health and strength, I am left to mourn. I am grateful for the blessing he was. You never know what is there in your future. Good luck and good cheer. Shalti

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PD is hard to suffer with, even harder to explain and impossible for others to understand. Even spouses don't get it. They may try, but you have to have PD to really know what we live through. I think that misunderstanding leads to marriage problems in a world where marriages are already stressed quite often. It can be the final straw on the proverbial Camel's back. Often too, the one with PD in a relationship doesn't want to be a drag on his spouse. I know that I don't want to be.

 

And Shakti, I have been thinking of you, have tried to pm you but your message box must be full. I hope you are doing well and it was good to see your name up and posting.

 

jb

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