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Struggling to Understand

How do I make it work with 3 generations under one roof?

4 posts in this topic

My PWP is living with my family (husband, 6 year old and 2 year old). I am constantly feeling as if I have three children that I must watch over. She almost refuses to clean up after herself and is constantly making demands of my son and I to do things for her. My husband and I are concerned that our son is going to grow up resenting her and us for allowing her to treat him that way even though I intervene on his behalf when I hear her ask him for something.

 

Recently (within the last couple of weeks) she has started to check on my where abouts. I have been working on a project in the garage and multiple times she will open the garage door and barely peak out to see if I am still there. At first it was just when I was home but she has progressed to doing it when my husband is home too. When we question her she pretends not to hear us and closes the door. It is driving us both crazy! Has anyone else experienced this almost paranoia with their PWP?

 

PWP also doesn't seem to have any sense of right or wrong when it come to our son. She allows him to watch things on TV that I would never allow him to watch at 6 y/o and seems to have no regard for the rules we have for him. Yet with our 2 y/o daughter, PWP is constantly repremanding or blaming her for something. Yes 2 year olds are messy but I doubt she left the water running in the bathroom.....things like that.

 

I just need to know that this is 'normal' and that I am not overreacting because this is my mother whom I haven't had a good relationship with since I was 14!! How do I get a sense of normal in a house with a person who doesn't understand what she is doing wrong?

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Struggling to Understand,

 

First find out what medications she is on. Many different medications can cause the behavior she is exhibiting. Also some of this might be executive function. the abiltity to plan, follow through on simple taskes, discernement, impulsiveness are all part of this. It is somewhere to start. Bring it up with the doctor, who may or may not be helpful speaking from personal experience.

 

Coach T

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Perhaps you need to study up on the illness itself, to help you understand her situation. You sound as though you expect her to act like someone with nothing wrong with them that is staying at your house. I don't mean that in a nasty way, I know myself and am dealing with trying to understand that while my husband seems the same on the surface most times, there is a lot going on beneath the surface. It could be that she is afraid everyone has left her alone, [why she is checking up on you and your Husband]

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