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graflexmaster

You might have Parkinson's if.........

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OK this is probably because I've been up since yesterday morning........ but though it might be fun to do our own take on the "you might be a redneck jokes...

 

 

You might have Parkinson's if...................

 

you have more tremors than a California fault line...............

 

the neighborhood kids think your parkie shuffle would make a great Zombi walk................

 

your wardrobe is not organized by season or colour...but by good days and bad........

 

you've been told a thousand times.... you don't "look" sick, or you're too young to have Parkinson's....

 

if people at the table next to you in the diner...ask if they can cut your steak for you......

 

if one Dr isn't enough, you have a team

 

if someone else had to type this for you.....

 

if you updated your facebook status with... "I pooped today"......

 

if you need help to operate the electric can opener.....

 

the moaning coming from the bedroom sounds like sex, but it's just you getting dressed on an off day.........

 

you need something from upstairs... and are standing at the bottom of the stairs wondering if it's really worth it.....

 

when stubbing your toe, isn't as bad as falling down after trying to grab your foot....

 

you got down, but can't get back up from the toilet

 

you wonder how you're going to feel today....

 

you stare at all of your pills, and wonder, are they "REALLY" gonna work today?

 

you're on a first name basis with your pharmacy

 

you have your medical ins. number memorized....

 

you have "fired" or been "fired" by a medical professional....

 

the first numbers you put in your new phone are... Dr, pharmacy, health ins, etc.....

 

if your 5 year old niece can tie her shoes faster than you can.....

 

if all your shoes are either slip on or have Velcro....

 

ok everyone.....YOUR turn..............................

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Gosh...u covered a lot of territory...hard to come up with anything..ok.. A great post.....

 

You might have Parkinsons if ....you have been told repeatedly by doctors that you really do NOT shake in your hand or leg...it really is all in your HEAD!

 

Best can do..

 

Or..

 

" " if you have been told by friends or relatives that your tremors are really caused by stress, cuz you only shake when you are in a crowd or nervous.

 

Just don't have my clever button turned up yet...hahah

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Hahahaha !! Funny thing is....... I can soooo relate to most of those !

 

 

You have your neuro on speed dial

 

You get all giddy because you buttoned your own shirt and did in less than 15mins

 

Your morning conversation starts with...... I only got up to pee 4 times last night

 

It took you 10 mins to get from the house to your car.... then you realize you forgot your keys.

 

You've been trying to call your doctor all day, finally get through and forgot why you called.

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Old & Michael ...you guys are TOO funny...honestly...I believe u may b part of my clan...you gotta be Irish...the one culture who can laugh at adversity...granted, they are usually drunk at the time...but they STILL can laugh....

 

There is a McNulty in my family ...long live Grandpa McNulty!! Hahaha

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You get punched in the face for peeing on the guy beside you in the mens room.

 

Your favorite pastime is counting how many tries it takes to get out of your chair.

 

You see stairs and break out in the cold sweats  

 

You get dirty looks in the restaurant because you said ...... I'll sit myself, and something else came out.

 

911 hung up on you because it took you 3mins to say hello and now the police are at your door.

 

You have a 12month payment plan for Life Alert

 

You can't remember what day it is, but you know how many pills you have left.

 

You have second degree burns on your face from drinking your coffee before taking your pills.

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:-P OMG NOT AGAIN!!!  Ouch my side, but it hurts good hahahahaha.  Bet I get put on some new meds just as soon as my neighbors report loud, insane laughing coming from the condo of that poor lady who lives alone with that terrible disease.  Yep, anytime now, I expect the Sun City Posse to come check on me.

 

Update my facebook status - pooped today.  hahahahahaha oh yes this one might kill me! Thx Michael

 

Hey old, first time I've seen a picture of you.  NICE!

 

NN: just sent ya a long email re: yesterdays experience at new MDS center.  Hi by the way! :-P 

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You might have Parkinson's if your sister accuses you of having botox because you no longer smile.

 

You might have Parkinson's if you wear a t-shirt that says "Don't follow in my footsteps; I walk into walls!

 

You might have Parkinson's if you wake up one day and realize for once you don't hurt anywhere, and then you move..

 

Dianne

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for the guys...

 

those aren't water droplets on the top of your shoes after leaving the bathroom.

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you might have parkinson's

 

if you fall in the afternoon, you decide that as long as you're down there....... you might as well take a nap

 

your wife accuses you dribbling, and you haven't had anything to drink, nor do you play basketball

 

you're shaking bad, and dear wife decides to hand you a dust cloth and put you to work

Edited by graflexmaster
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You might have PD if

 

Strangers ask you to hold their babies to get them to sleep.

 

You've just had a 15min conversation with yourself, and even YOU don't know what you said.

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This one is rated PD-17 and for the guys.

 

You might have PD if

 

You took the little blue pill and had an erection lasting more than 4hrs. Instead of calling your Dr, you sent him and his family on vacation to Disney World.

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For those of you who enjoy this twisted humor from my new twisted friends, skip to Something funny for even more laughs..

 

Me, I am thinkin OlD and Michael are dipping into the l dopa as their drug of choice..TOO FUNNY !!!!

 

Keep them coming....come in you lurkers,..I know you are out there!!!

 

You might have Parkinsons if....you stand in the shower and not get wet.

 

(Ok, so my brain is not as it was last week,,,,am I to blame they reduced my l dopa???? Guess I need to take a "hit" to catch up with you guys!!

 

We don't snort, we just pop the pills! Not easily at times, but we pop pills! Hahahaha.....)

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you might have parkinson's if:

 

your bank keeps questioning you because you signatures never match the signature card on file..........

 

if when a friend texts you, you call them back because you cant get your fingers to work all the little buttons to text

 

you finally find enough energy to get the laundry done, then call your mom to celebrate......

 

if you pick your clothes for the day, not based on weather or fashion, but rather, you pick things because you can put them on all by fourself

 

you might have YOPD if:

 

you get dirty looks from elderly people for taking the disabled parking spot "they" wanted..........

 

you go shopping online for a "cooler" cane or blinged walker

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you might have parkinson's if:

 

You look like Lurch from the Addams Family.

Your bad hand looks like the Thing from the Addams Family.

 

As a man you are told in a public rest room by a small child "My mommy said more than 3 shakes and your playing with it".

 

You stutter so bad your doctor's office hangs up on you because they think you're prank calling them.

 

You stutter so bad that even 911 hangs up on you because they think you're prank calling them.

 

You've ever said "Wait, before we go out, I gotta go put on my good sweatpants.

 

You require a king size bed for your spouse's safety.

 

You can no longer flip people off in traffic because if you did manage to get your middle finger up there, you know there is no garentee it's coming down any time soon.

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You might have parkinson's if:

 

you take your martinis shaken, not stirred.

 

you can can now do only two dances: slam dance, and the robot.

 

You don't believe laughter is the best medicine, it's sinemet.

 

you get into the tub and create your own waves

 

you know more about your medicines than your doctors and pharmacist

 

everyone calls you sweetie, but now thinks you are deaf too

 

your grandmother offers you her walker

 

your words are low and jumbled, but when you drop the "F" bomb, it ALWAYS manages to come out LOUD AND PROUD.

 

your hand writing now looks like the Arabic spam we get on this forum.

 

when you get to the to of the stairs, you play the Rocky theme song in your head

 

your grandma ditches you because you slow her down

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These are great !!

Come on people..... you KNOW you want to add some.... don't be shy. Take that dose and get to typing.

 

Dr Vic is prescribing one dose of laughter to be taken as needed daily.

 Side effects may include but are not limited to,

 Uncontrollable facial movement, cramping of the stomach, spotting of urine,  watering of the eyes, odd sounds of the voice box, an overall happy feeling, browning or staining of the underwear.

 

Do not take laughter if you have Old Fuddy Duddy Syndrome or Stuck In A Rut complex.

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Old...ya killin me! Hahah

Old Fuddy Duddy Syndrome ...it's not just for PWP's anymore!

 

You might have Parkonsons if.....if going thru a drive way window for a milk shake becomes an adventure !

 

If you find yourself in Walmart REALLY walking to the beat of a different drum! (Linda Rondatat joke)

 

If "cutting the cheese" takes on a whole NEW meaning!!!!

 

Ok, lurkers, join in...can't get worse than this!!!! Hahah

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Nn.

Lol seeing that you mention cutting the cheese, I would tell you to pull my finger but...........we don't have all day.  Bahahaha !!

 

 

You might have Parkinson's if......

 

 You have to pack a lunch to go out and get the mail.

 

 Your neuro tells you to touch your nose, and you come home wearing an eye patch.

 

 Your blood pressure is lower than your laxatives.

 

 The kids refuse to play hide and go seek with you because .... you can't count to 100 without taking a nap.

 

 You wear a helmet, kevlar vest and safety goggles  to use your mustache  trimmer.

 

 You entertain yourself by timing how long it takes to get a slice of bread in the toaster.

 

 Your wife just spent 2hrs cleaning the kitchen because you thought you'd put your own mustard on your hot dog.

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