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New normal

Professional caregivers?

7 posts in this topic

Hi folks,

DH and I recognize our plan of having one help the other has changed since now we both have PD.  Having a care giver will be sooner than later. Can anyone give their opinion on our options?  I expect us to have full time CG's in 3 years.  Up to then, we can get people to do household and outside work.  Since I dont know what to expect I would like unput from experienced  CG's.  Having your experience, would you have changed your decison?  My thought is whenever one of us is no longer maintaining normal functions...its time to have medical assistance.  These are the options I think we have.  Any comments would be appreciated.

1. Go to assisted living. . 2. Hire CG agency.  3. Hire local people ...like retired nurse.  4.  Hire a couple to live on site in RV or trailer.

DH is progressing rapidly.  He is a big man. i cannot assist him.  He fell  last week and we think he got a minor concussion.  I boldly speak about our upcoming "bucket list trip" to keep us making goals.  Reality is we don't know if it will happen.

i told him today...perhaps we go as far as we can...then call it quits.  Kinda like having PD.......

NN

 

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NN, you've done some really good thinking about options for your DH and you, any of which seem like the could work. The good thing is that you have things to fall back on so that if one doesn't work so well, you can try another.  As far as going into a facility, I'm sure you have thought about getting on some wait lists soon, as it can take awhile for apartments to open in a lot of places, especially with the big Boomer generation coming of age and beginning to move in.  In fact, it's wise to put a deposit down on a few places even if it's much further ahead of time than you think you would move.  Most will keep you in line where you were on the wait list even if they call with an opening and you are not yet ready to move in.

One thing to keep in mind is that many if not most of the people who choose to enter a facility (after very, very carefully checking out every one of them and researching reviews and ratings) say that they wished they had done it sooner.  Most love it!  When entering into independent living in a continuing care community, you can stay in your apartment as long as you want by having help come in.  Then when you are sure you need assisted living, you can move up to it.  I think one of the big, big pluses of making a move to a place is that there is great comfort and commonality and companionship with the other residents.  You are always around people if you want to be, but you can be as private and in your apartment if you want to be.  It's the best of both worlds. Also, most have everything there and available if needed--doctors, PT, pharmacy, dining, activities of all kinds, etc.  One thing I would caution of course is to look for a place that is without doubt highly rated.  Talk with the staff and with the residents to get a good idea about how they like living there, as well as whether they are happy and welcoming to you. If you are flexible as to moving to another area of the country you can be more selective.  Some areas of the country don't really have much to offer as to facilities. 

I can highly recommend the Erickson Living Communities which are mostly on the East Coast but are also spreading out through the country.  You can find their information on line.

It will be interesting to hear what others advise.  Will be praying for you, dear friend.

Linda

Edited by Linda Garren

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Just an FYI. All assisted living is expensive. You can have $1 million in savings when you enter assisted living. It will be used up in five years. Most Americans don't have that kind of retirement savings. Consider yourself fortunate if you do.

Dianne

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Diane and Linda...alot to think about..Also, we will take a major hit on selling this house.  It has no mortgage..we thinking it wd b our last home.   Never considered having to pay payroll taxes, etc.  I have never lived with a common wall...I pry would be like a tiger in a cage...our neuro's suggestion we may have MSA, and DH showing so much PD is another component to consider.

Prayer has always helped us.   I have found peace and purpose.  I am confident things will evolve as intended.

Just helps to be able to talk with persons who are objective without the emotional aspect...facing the truth. 

Thank you.

NN

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NN, I commend you for thinking about this subject now, before you really need it.  I don't know where you're at in AZ - is there a supply of home health workers (either through an agency or individuals you could hire on your own?  When DH & I were caring for my dad, we used an agency.  I know they didn't have the staff to be able to provide round the clock care (we live in a small town).  Plus, he would need an LPN in a.m. & at dinner time to check blood sugar and give insulin; HHAs can't do that in our state.  I did the math & that would have been more expensive than the nursing home he's in now!  

Barring any problems like dementia, I think assisted living would be the way to go.  It's hard to see that money fly out the window, but it gets rid of the problem of finding someone to stuff around the house, yard, etc.. Any kids who can help out?

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I did alot of research in both the Assistant Living and having in home care before I decided to place DH in the Nursing Home. Caretaking at our home was out... he needed 24/7 care in everything, and there was no way we could house a 24/7 caretaker, so that would still have left me with if he fell, getting to bathroom, eating etc etc. Assistant Living also would not have handled all his needs, and for myself I did not need any assistants and was not ready to pick up and sell everything when he would have been in the Memory part of the facility and that just was a no way. I am so glad he is now getting 24 hour care, everyone loves him, I go every day and have such a relief that he is in loving and caring hands. He is also liking it, it took alittle time but although he cannot talk where anyone can understand him, he seems to be able to communicate so that the nurses all know his needs, and he waves  and smiles at the residents as he buzzes himself around the facility. Almost every thing like getting his hair cut, nails trim, doctors except for dentist comes right to the facility. So I do not have to worry about getting him out to most of his appointments. The few I do they have their van that they get him to the appointments and I meet them. It is the best thing I did, and wish I would have done it two years ago. It would have been much less stress on me and most certainly a better qualified life for DH.

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Thank u all...how the heck did I  get TWO threads?  I know I am repeating myself alot...but this is ridiculous...sorry...lol 

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