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Superdecooper

Chronic - A poem about chronic pain I wrote that I wanted to share

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Chronic 
By Superdecooper © 2010

In the comfort of my dreams, I feel no pain.
No heartache. No hurt coursing through this unpredictable frame of mine.
I’m clear like a stream, questing for the blue ocean’s warmth
But Time, my subtle enemy, rushes me unwillingly towards the moment I awake.
I struggle to smother all the small prickles of fear that the coming transition will bring.

The warm comfort of my dreamscape fades.
I wake into a world of tattered thoughts, unkind nerve endings and the edge of memory.
Still, I hope it might be a good day.
Maybe no rain in the forecast, bringing chronic pain.
No mysterious body movements that spark instant regret.
I fill my lungs with the sweet life of morning and hope.

But then, like a death-row denizen, I exhale. 
Slowly I breathe out hate for the pinch of thorns shackling my release. 
Hot, dull, deep, unrelenting, and unforgiving pain greets me. 
In between each breath, I debate the sacrificial bargain awaiting my acceptance.
Do I swallow each small capsule at every appointed hour?
With just the right combination of rainbow tablets, I will be granted the power to bring this disaster under control.

I summon the strength of will to exchange my cool intellect for a dulled, foggy existence haunted by the grey specter of pain.
For just one more day, I agree to do less, think and be less.
In exchange, the thorns will be blunted just enough for me to remember.
When true night falls, I will dream again. 

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Hello, Superdecooper.  Nice to have another Marylander on the forum.

Your poem is incredible.  Did you study at some point to develop this skill?  It really is phenomenal.

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Hi Linda Garren,

Thanks and yes, I was an English major before graduating with a BA in Journalism more than 30 years ago. I'm a writer like my father before me. 

And, unfortunately, like many of the folks on this forum: I live with chronic pain.

-s

Edited by Superdecooper

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Great poem. I'm a writer as well, mostly fantasy and space opera fiction, but I have enough poems I'm planning on putting out a book of them, which will include a few PD ones as well. I usually write at least one each year in Parkinson's Awareness Month. Let's see if I can dig up the link for this year's poem:

http://rickspdjourney.blogspot.com/2017/04/dream-births.html

 

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