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About MateMe

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    Cleveland, OH
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    Kids, education, home organization, Downton Abbey
  1. Is it typical for PD males to have Erectile Dysfunction, even when using Viagra or Cialis? My beloved man takes Viagra as prescribed but it never results in any visible or detectible change. His PD is mild and his interest is definitely there, but he is becoming very frustrated that there is no result. I've tried environmental and behavioral changes for myself to help the process along, but nothing seems to be working. He has tried working the situation on his own, so to speak, and there is still no result. Is there some other medication or is there a supplement that we should be trying? He is too embarrassed to address this with doc and won't let me bring it up either.
  2. MateMe

    I'm a newbie here and new to PD.

    Thank you all for your helpful and thoughtful replies. He is definitely worth the effort for me to adjust my attitude and remember his good qualities. And he still is darned good looking, to boot Fortunately, he learned six years ago to stay away from the dishwasher -- and most kitchen components except for the floor (I hate to vacuum!) It is good to be reminded of The Golden Rule; I can think of numerous nuns throughout my Catholic education (elementary through college) who tried to impart that wisdom, so I really have no excuse for not enacting it. Some quiet time to prepare myself for the day might be helpful (and it sure won't hurt as I try to keep my wits about me when dealing with the 12-year-old). One thing I have started is reading books on my iPhone. Since Harper Lee is coming out with a new book, I am reading To Kill a Mockingbird to get ready; I am finding that when my beloved is starting to get on my last nerve, it is better to pull out my iPhone for a little reading to distract me briefly and feel like I am doing something productive (i.e. getting ready to read a sequel). Courtesy of brain tumor, or aging, or stress, my recall is not as sharp as it was, so refreshing my mind with an old book to get ready for a new book seems very productive. And thanks for the reminder that he is not intentionally irritating me. He just told me that very thing yesterday. I felt foolish when he pointed that out and I roundly deserved to feel bad. I think that the forums on this website are going to be helpful. I have always been a learner and very good at taking direction, so I anticipate reading as much as I can of the experience and wisdom of others and seeing what elements work for me, for him, and for us. When his sleep disorders first reared their ugly heads and we were together reading advice (lots of it) to sleep separately, I immediately told him, "I'm not going anywhere" and his look of distress was gone instantly. We made a few environmental changes and tinkered with his medication dose (with Doc's blessing) to make it less likely that either furniture or I would get damaged, and we are still curling up together every night in our double bed. It works for us, even if it doesn't work for other couples. But I am all about reading up and trying out solutions, so the forums here are going to be a tremendous blessing! Thanks again.
  3. Greetings! I have just stumbled across this forum, and it seems wise to introduce myself before I launch into any issues. Here are the basics: I'm a 45-year old educated woman and mother of six (ages 22 to 12); my wonderful significant other is a 71-year old educated man whose initial diagnosis (about eight months ago) of Essential Tremor was recently followed (two months ago) with a co-existing diagnosis of Parkinson's Disease. I have been with this benevolent and generous man for six years, so he has helped me launch the three oldest children into their respective colleges and has provided a stable home life for the three children at home. I love him dearly, owe him much, and respect him enormously. Unfortunately I am finding myself short on patience and long on irritation. He is in early stages of PD, and I know that 1) many (or most) caregivers have it worse than I, and 2) his physical limitations are mild compared to what they will likely be in the future. That being said, I am finding myself silently tiring of circumstances such as: cleaning up spilled beverages and food -- constantly; avoiding the bleachers at the kids' sporting events because he can't climb up or down -- most weekends; and nurturing him through computer tasks and home repair projects he insists on doing but that I would rather do myself to save time and frustration-- quite regularly. Yes, I am turning into someone I don't like and I don't sound very loving, do I? To add another wrinkle, I was diagnosed with a brain tumor at age 34, which remained small and unchanged for nearly 11 years, and about four months ago was determined to be growing; surgery is not yet recommended, but my cognitive deficits have been documented, particularly in areas of executive functioning (task flexibility being my biggest challenge). My significant other was fully supportive through my three months of medical appointments. Honestly, we were especially close during those months because we napped together constantly. His PD has manifested itself most significantly in sleep disorders, and the barrage of tests for my tumor was tiring for me, so we both needed naps, and both took them. We are a snuggly couple anyway, and his routine tremors stop when he sleeps briefly, so napping brought us closer. If there are any ideas out there for how to develop and apply patience I would appreciate hearing them. I don't want to sigh loudly, look irritated, or snap at him. I keep trying to appreciate the stability he provides us and being conscious of my rising irritation so as to redirect myself, but it seems to be a losing battle. We just came back from a travel sporting event for my youngest (and her "12 going on 21" attitude was problematic, to be sure), and I had plenty of time to stew while driving three hours, thinking about how I don't want to take him on travels again. I ended up telling him that later, at home, when I got irritated with his fumbling with his iPhone. I did apologize sincerely, but better if I don't speak harshly in the first place. Well... that's my introduction to you. Any ideas for developing patience would be appreciated. I don't want to punish my guy for his symptoms, and I don't want to enact a 'just stay out of my way because I can do it myself' philosophy that hurts him more than it reassures him.