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About silent55

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  1. silent55

    For caregivers only

    Thank you everyone for the kind and encouraging words and yes I heard you all. It was very comforting to hear that I was not alone nor was it my anxiety and fear about the situation. I did have a hard time coming to terms and handling my feelings but have accepted my new "normal"with my mother and plan to get back in a couple of weeks. I have created boundaries so as not to get upset like last time but would like some advice as to how stay calm as she doesn't seem to remember too well. There are times that a situation may crop up in her day where she tends to focus negatively only on that and forgets the rest of the days issues. At the moment it is only a daily phone call but there are her not "good" days when she only complains and is negative and on those days she can set me off if am not okay.
  2. silent55

    For caregivers only

    Thanks genden69 for your words. Have had few people around me telling the same thing and somewhere my brain screams that I can't do much more but the daughter in me finds it real hard to watch my mother go through this. Thanks Miracleseeker and very glad you are getting the Ultrasound. Do not worry ahead of time about what may happen and stress out before the tests.Wish you the very best and take care. Thanks Pathfinder you all give me the courage to move forward and face the music as they say because many a day I feel like am desperately swimming with no life jacket.Specially now as am about leave my Mother for a few months and head back to the states for my husbands tests which I hope will be okay.
  3. silent55

    For caregivers only

    I feel each and everyone's pain as I am going through it with my mother for the last three years and it feels like forever and am desperate as am the only child and her primary caregiver. She developed symptoms around the time of my father passing away but were not conclusive until she had a fall. Fortunately she was diagnosed with early stage and is on 1/2 tablet Syndopa TD but has over the last year developed mood changes, paranoia and a form of dementia making it difficult to talk with her and she is very stubborn which is the total opposite of her before. Am married and my husband has been diagnosed with CLL which is at zero stage. He is retired now and both of us spending most of my time in Asia with my mother and have to fly back for about four months annually for my husbands tests to be done. This is tough as when am with her am already drained at the end of the day and am aware of neglecting my husband and myself in the process. So for over an year now have a nurse aide with her 24 hours daily to take care of her needs and exercises which she is very reluctant to follow. I find that I am neglecting myself though I now that I need to take care of myself and getting annoyed and feel drained by afternoon. Am worried that I may miss out on doing stuff for her and feel guilty that by going out of the country am neglecting her.