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I am a 65 ear old male with PD.  I was diagnose 11 years ago and I have been very fortunate .   I have also worked hard at exercising and doing whatever I can to stave off this disease.

   I just returned from a 3 month, solo trip in my RV.  I came home because my family needed me, not the other way around.

   My problem is that my wife tries to treat me like I already need a caregiver!  She questions every decision I make, she objects to me driving, even though I am quite capable.   I think she craves the authority over me and is using my diagnosis as her excuse.  

   I love her but how can I get her to back off?

Bob

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Would you rather have a wife who takes every thing for granted and when the time comes for you to need help but she won't be around or is in constant state of denial?  Having PD puts you in a category of getting hit harder when you get sick or have an accident.  That is why she fusses over you.

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Frank discussion goes a long way to clear up differences, perhaps bringing up your concerns with her while at your Nuero appointment? You doctor would be able to reassure her about your wishes.

Our situation is a lot different, my husband also has Vascular Dementia. He thinks he can drive, despite his many doctors saying that he can’t. He is selective about what he thinks he can and can’t do, rarely does he get it right. He’s amiable about his limitations when I explain them, I am grateful for that.

I hope you get this resolved to everyone’s satisfaction.

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Hello Pathfinder I hope things with your own health has been going well .  You speak words of wisdom.  Caretaker are special in our lives.  They don, get to hear THANK YOU as far as I feel near enough.  Tom

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Thank youTom, I am doing well. Hubby continues to do well after his stomach bug. Looks like I’m not going to catch it. Thank goodness for Lysol wipes!

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On 3/19/2019 at 6:24 PM, bobflying@hotmail.com said:

I am a 65 ear old male with PD.  I was diagnose 11 years ago and I have been very fortunate .   I have also worked hard at exercising and doing whatever I can to stave off this disease.

   I just returned from a 3 month, solo trip in my RV.  I came home because my family needed me, not the other way around.

   My problem is that my wife tries to treat me like I already need a caregiver!  She questions every decision I make, she objects to me driving, even though I am quite capable.   I think she craves the authority over me and is using my diagnosis as her excuse.  

   I love her but how can I get her to back off?

Bob

hI bOB

A easy way to approach your wife would be to ask her if the shoe was on the other foot how would she like the interference.Everyone is entitled to command their own life and its a natural response for anyone to object from this form of subtle domination(temper)

More should be known of temper and all it's faces.

My marriage is not perfect but for me attitudes can be changed and no matter who you live with there will always be challenges.

"Men get most of their satisfaction from controlling their inclinations" LOL.Dr.Abraham Low founder of Recovery inc.1937

john

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John you must not be married to a wife of Viking ancestry.  LOL   The truth is without my wife through the years  stepping in on my inclinations.  Would of be a disaster for us!  Open discussion  and compromise is what makes it work.  The middle of the road.  Most important common goals.  Totally agree there will always be challenges. 

When it comes to couples where one person has parkinson's or any illness nothing changes on how you see your partner.   That means both the one who has an illness and the one that is healthier.   As time goes on  your love for them doesn't change.  It grows.  I have seen so many examples of caretakers.  Just by the look on their face and by their actions to know a great relationship.  People forget those words FOR BETTER OR WORSE. IMO   Tom ( Being honest my first marriage failed.)   It was my fault!  One learns to look back where they went wrong! ( Now I have been married for 32 years to the best wife and love her more as time goes on!)  

 

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On 3/19/2019 at 6:24 PM, bobflying@hotmail.com said:

I am a 65 ear old male with PD.  I was diagnose 11 years ago and I have been very fortunate .   I have also worked hard at exercising and doing whatever I can to stave off this disease.

   I just returned from a 3 month, solo trip in my RV.  I came home because my family needed me, not the other way around.

   My problem is that my wife tries to treat me like I already need a caregiver!  She questions every decision I make, she objects to me driving, even though I am quite capable.   I think she craves the authority over me and is using my diagnosis as her excuse.  

   I love her but how can I get her to back off?

Bob

Dear Bob,

I don't know the answer to your question but I wonder if telling her how much she means to you might help. I am very close to dying and have the good fortune of having my sister Marilyn type for me. It makes it so much easier to have somebody else share your thoughts. Interestingly hearing is the last sense to go when we are dying. For this reason I have instructed my family to talk to me even though they think I can't hear them. I will communicate by hand signals when that happens. I would ask you to send this email to the entire group.

With love,

Adrienne

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Dear Adrienne,

This is very sad news you are sharing.  Were you diagnosed with an atypical form of PD or are you suffering from another more serious medical condition?  I hope you are resting comfortably and are at peace with life.  Best wishes, Gardener

 

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Dear Adrienne,

All I can do is to pray for you.May God strengthen you more and more.May he give us hope as we battle this disease.Lol.

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Adrienne, your post brought the point of letting our loved ones know how dear they are to us home in a way that touched me deeply. I am so sorry for your situation, and yet you took the time to reach out and help someone else. Thinking of you, have courage.

 

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